Sacrifice is a hard thing

Sacrifice is hard. Being healthy is hard. Leaving the kids alone is hard. Losing weight is hard. 

Two things. Number one, I'm going to school full time so I am gone in the evenings for 4-5 hours every evening but Friday. Making the decision to become a police officer is hard. It will take me away from home more and the kids are having a hard time with it. Even more, because I have decided to make myself healthy, I am now going to be going to boot camp in the mornings. They are not handling it very well tonight. I am hoping that through hard work and dedication that one day they will be able to see that it is worth all of the sacrifice. It breaks my heart.

Number two. I just signed up for Boot Camp With Jess! I am excited and scared. I got to go tonight and experience the gym and I got my butt handed to me on a silver platter. It was not pretty. I had a few breakdowns and I knew that I needed to do this. I know I am super overweight and I know that I am a big girl. The boot camp truly made me see it more than I ever have before.

I know that these sacrifices are hard and I look at them and hope that my kids do not resent me for the decisions I have made in my life. I hope that one day they will see that I only want what is best for them and I am learning that sometimes it is ok to want what is best for me.

Wish me luck!!!

Hello my friends!

So, as you can see, it has been a few days since my last entry. I am still super determined. I have lost a little bit of weight and am currently between 312 and 309. That is super awesome!! I am going to get below 300 and we are going to celebrate on this blog!! Maybe I will come up with some sort of giveaway. Not sure how many are actually reading, I am working on inviting those I know will support me and not bring me down. 

I have been going to the gym every day. I feel like I am getting stronger and more able to do things. I am not as out of breath when on the treadmill and I was able to go 3 minutes running today. I know it isn't a lot, but it was hard for me. I know with time it will get easier and I will be able to do it longer. 

Unfortunately, today my foot started hurting. I hope that it will feel better in the morning. I will stay off of it tonight and see. I might have to take a day off from running. No worries though, I will still get on a bike and ride if it does hurt. 

That is my awesome update for today. Thanks for reading!!

A dream of Blues

My decision has been made

My nemesis has been the gym for a while. I know that I feel good after exercising and I know that it will help me, but I haven't figured out why I avoid it. Well last week in my class my teacher said something that hit me. He said, "when you are ready, you will do whatever it takes to fit into the blues." It struck me and I decided then and there that I was ready now. I have been to the gym every morning since, except for Sunday. I am getting ready to join Boot Camp in a few weeks and I think it will greatly benefit me. So I imagine that things will be crazy for me for just a little while, but I'm doing my best to get myself healthy and hopefully it will happen pretty quickly.....but not too quickly. 

My first Video Blog Ever!

So I am going to try out this video blog thing. Let me know what you think!!!

Here is the link to the VIDEO! Enjoy!! http://youtu.be/X-8i2Wrm1Pw

Hope this works!!

 A dream of Blues

Before picture

I really don't want to do this, but here it is, my before picture taken on May 26th, 2013. I weighed 320 pounds. My current weight today is 315. 

A Dream of Blues

Welcome to my blog. You are here because I know that you will honestly be at my side through some of my hardest days. You see, I want to be a police officer. It is something I have wanted for a really long time. When I graduated high school, my intention was to be a police officer. Well, it is now 14 years later and I am still not a police officer. Right. So now you are asking yourself, what is she getting at? Why am I reading this blog? The answer is simply, I want to be a police officer and to do so, I will need some serious support. I am severely overweight and I know that I cannot become an officer in this state of being. I have been working hard to lose weight and I have done okay. I have started and stopped so many times in the last 12 years and I have never won the battle. The back story to my weightless issues at this point is not important to me, but if you would like to know how I got to where I am, feel free to message me on Facebook and I will tell you. What is important now is where I am going and how I'm going to get there. Life has been pretty crazy for me and my family. We have been through many trials and we have had to experience a lot of heartache and sorrow. Life is precious. That knowledge came three and a half years ago as I lay in a hospital bed losing the battle with life. I am speaking to you on this blog today because of a true miracle and second chance at life. It came at a cost. I am determined to fight and win this battle. I was given a second chance for a reason. So welcome to my blog The Blues Chronicles. My journey to lose weight and become an officer. I hope that I can express myself and that you will all be able to see how I am progressing. It is going to be a tough journey, but I know with your help, I CAN DO THIS. Thank you for reading! A Dream of Blues