Week 5 is here!!

My arms are Jello!!!

Today was crazy!! My arms really do feel like jello. It is a good thing I am not swimming in the ocean, I would be shark bait for sure!!

This weekend was rough. I'm pretty sure I had a food withdrawal issue. Seriously it got to the point where everywhere I turned there was a temptation. It was hard to fight the temptation and I struggled. I so badly wanted that hamburger, or a taco, or honey walnut shrimp, and many other things.  I could smell it in the air and I wanted it. Now. Had I been on my own. I may have caved, luckily my mom was with me. She kept me from doing anything crazy. It wasn't really about the food though, well, sort of. It was about my brain thinking that food is comfort.

Food has been a comfort for so long that when I was placed in a really stressful situation,that is what my brain needed. Food, greasy, fattening, food. I fought the temptation for days. It was hard to fight and by Saturday I wanted it so bad that I actually broke down into tears. I immediately talked to instructor Thomas, who convinced me that I didn't really want it. He may have threatened to put the vest back on me. That isn't really why I didn't do it, but it felt good to talk about it. I really didn't want the food,, but I felt like I would die without it.

This has been a learning experience for me and I am glad that I had the temptations. I am doing much better after having my breakdown and I now realize how silly it really is. I'm back on track and honestly don't have a desire to eat those foods at this time.

So begins week 5!

A dream of blues