Hellweek day 4

Battle scars!! Not sure how I got this one!! 

Today was not the hardest physically. It wasn't easy, but my demons came by way of mental and emotional.

The I can't do this demons were strong today. Fighting them was hard. I was upset with myself on top of that for getting to where I am in the first place. The strength to fight the demons was low today, and that Upset me. I had a million different emotions going through my brain and I struggled. I felt like I was trying hard for something that is in achievable. I truthfully felt like this will never work.

Luckily, I had a great group of people cheering me on and I was able to get through it. It meant a lot to me that the other hellweek guy was encouraging me. He made all the difference towards the end of the workout today.

Tomorrow is the last day of hellweek. We have to show up at 6:45 a.m. I am so worried that I will mess up. I was able to answer the questions today, but I don't know how I'll do under more pressure. I just want to get through it and know I never have to wear that 30 pound vest again.

I am determined to keep going and I hope that one day I can see that this is worth it.

My teacher told me this week that I can't quit, or I will have done all of this for nothing. I want to believe it. I'm trying.

Anyway, that is my report for day 4. Thanks for being so supportive.

A dream of blues